Can Someone Please Explain What an "Extreme Egalitarian Agenda" Is?

How I admire people who can argue dispassionately about political issues. I feel the same way about that ability as I do the drive to raise children. I'm glad people do it, but I don't understand it at all.

Like many of us, I've been thinking about Prop 8 and same-sex marriage (I'll use the acronym SSM). At The Y Files, an extremely thoughtful blog by Cathy Young, an anonymous poster talked about the fact that SSM has been going on regardless of legal status. I absolutely agree that one of the major missing pieces in this ongoing debate is that SSM is already happening. The only thing that's not legal recognition and rights. So arguments against SSM paint with a much broader brush than is appropriate. I think we need to acknowledge that we're talking about the legalization, not the fact. SSMs have been happening for decades and no one has been hurt. Maybe I'm being too simplistic about this. It's not an issue of the effect it will have, it's an issue of fairness - just as the legalization of mixed-race marriage was.

Then he says "If gays want marriage ...the key is to have children." I agree that children are a driving force behind marriage rights. I'm confused by the connection between that and his next statement concluding "that SSM is a lot of hype and little substance. It's far more the product of extremist egalitarian political agendas than "need" or equity."

I'm married to a woman. She and I know it, regardless of whether the larger society recognizes it. By choice we do not have children, nor will we. It is not hype that I still believe in fairness, regardless of whether I have children who need legal protections. Why shouldn't I get her retirement benefits (or she mine)? I'm fortunate to work for an employer who offers domestic partnership benefits - but I am just as concerned about my cousin and others who do not have that. Why shouldn't my cousin save $8000 a year in health insurance by joining his husband's plan? Why should I have to carry our health care POAs with me at all times in case something happens and the hospital chooses not to recognize our relationship?

Then there's the last comment. I'm truly asking this - not being sarcastic: What is an extremist egalitarian political agenda? How does a society become too fair?