Taking the Problem Out of the Solution

I forgot.

I had a conversation last night with some friends about all the ways the Republicans are manipulating voters through the media (they own it, after all). I was sick with anxiety and depression afterwards about the election and what the country could look like with a McCain presidency. I was so wound up I made an appointment to talk with my counselor today.

Her response was that she's been stockpiling art supplies. (She also said Palin is a non-issue. If she becomes VP, she'll have no power except tie breaking and if McCain were to die and she became president, the survivalists would take her out because they wouldn't tolerate a female president. Interesting theory.) My counselor's not an activist, so she's going to hunker down and focus (literally and figuratively) on cleaning up her own backyard. She said her husband told her, "We got through the Civil War and World War I. We can get through this."

He's right, of course. This country survived Vietnam, too. And many people lived through the Holocaust. People have made it through many scary political times. As my counselor said, they just did what they had to in order to get through. They connect with their friends, they cook food and eat it, and they survive until things get better. Thinking about it that way makes me feel like I can breathe again.

We talked about how caught up I was getting in anger and opposition, and here's the thing I forgot: the power of taking the problem out of the solution. It's been a frustration of mine for years with the liberal community. How much time and energy do we spend telling ourselves that we're right and our opposition is wrong? OK - move on. Quit focusing on the problem and move on to the solution. It's like my favorite line in the AA Big Book: When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away.

I'm not naive enough to think that McCain is going to go away. But he can go away in my head. I can quit (to use another AA cliche) giving him room in my head rent free. Instead of talking about how much more Democrats care about the fate of ALL Americans, let's just move it into the practical realm and get to work. As Dorothy Day said, "No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless. There's too much work to do."

While I see the truth in that, there are times when I need to sit down and feel hopeless. In fact, it might be more accurate - for me at least - to say: Sometimes I need to sit down and feel hopeless - because there's so much work to do. It's a s@@@ or get off the pot kind of thing. It's when I don't allow myself to fully experience my feelings that they follow me around for days or weeks - like the cloud of filth that always accompanied Pig Pen in the Snoopy cartoons. I stopped trying to "buck up" for a little while this afternoon and let myself feel the depth of my fear and sorrow (and let tears fall for a minute or two). That's all it took. I stopped fighting the feelings and allowed them to surface. Shortly after that I felt more hopeful and cheerful than I had in a couple days. Now I can focus on the solution, which tonight means vacuuming and doing the dishes, then getting ready for my day tomorrow. I'm going to keep it that simple for today.

Where's the power?

A friend sent me an email today suggesting I add my voice to womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com. I sent a couple sentences.

The return email said "The response has been immense! We've heard from women of all ages from all over the US and internationally. It's incredibly inspiring to read so many intelligent, wise, and impassioned opinions. We are working hard to post everyone's message, but please be patient. There are tens of thousands coming in every day!"

On the one hand, I was glad to hear there's been that kind of response about the pretender to the throne. The more I thought about it, though, the more uncomfortable I became. So I sent another email:

"I appreciate what you all are trying to do. I sent you a comment earlier with misgivings and the more I sit with this, the more uncomfortable I am.

Sarah Palin has already garnered too much press. I don't care about Sarah Palin. I care about health care for poor Americans, and getting out of Iraq, and not selling the environment to the highest bidder. Whenever we get pulled into fighting against something the Republicans do, we are giving them our power. Let's move on. Instead of dedicating a site to trashing Sarah Palin, let's just ignore her and focus on the real issues. She has been a brilliant distraction from the real issues, but that will only work if we let it. Instead of staying in conflict, let's refocus the attention on what WE want to focus on."

I do understand the limitations of this. John Kerry responded to the Swift Boat thing by ignoring it (not dignifying it with a response) and that was a big, big mistake. We need to find a balance - respond quickly, decisively, and strongly - and then move on.

For awhile now I've thought about starting an organization called Rational Americans for Fairness. No flaming or drama allowed, and everyone has to invoke the 24 hour rule before responding to anyone who disagrees with us. Anyone could join regardless of religion or lack thereof, as long as they support women's right to control our own bodies and they believe that I should have the same rights as straight people.

Wouldn't it nice if participating in the revolution were as easy as simply talking about the real issues? Being reasonable doesn't create enough drama, though, to get much press coverage. But maybe that would be a blessing....

Sometimes the path isn't clear at all. Then sometimes....

A couple days ago one of my Debtors Anonymous sponsees, who's struggling with the concept of a higher power and prayer, asked me to share with him any prayers that I liked and found helpful. I sent one I wrote, but added that the best prayers anyone ever taught me were "Please" and "Thank you."

Yesterday while cooling down from running I realized I needed to correct that. The prayer I find the most helpful, and pray the most, is "Show me the path, and give me the willingness to walk it. And you're going to have to make the path really, REALLY clear so I don't miss it."

Last night my wife brought home some old magazines from the office - a couple of issues of Tricycle, which is a Buddhist magazine (I've been dancing around the idea of starting to practice meditation for awhile now). There is a 28-day Commit to Sit challenge in the magazine about beginning to meditate, which I was reading this morning over breakfast.

Then I heard Sarah Palin's voice on the radio, greeting the screaming crowds in Colorado.

I decided in the interest of my sanity that I needed to take a vow not to talk about anything but work while I was at work today - because if I did, I would either start to cry or scream. I am so disgusted that Obama is behind in the polls. And, as I told my wife, it just confirms my belief that most people in this country are *&^%$@# idiots.

I started driving to work only to be cut off by someone who pretty clearly saw me and decided to jump in front of me anyway. I leaned on my horn. She stuck her hand out and waved. Behind my rolled up car windows, I called her - you guessed it - a *&^%$@# idiot. When I turned onto Main Street and rolled up to a red light, I watched the truck in front of me come up to it and roll right through the red. What a jerk.

THEN - a car to my left honked. The guy was gesturing to me to stop. I thought "What the *&^%$@# does he want? Maybe he wants to get in front of me. Fine, whatever." He merged in front of me - behind the truck that had run the light. Then he turned his flashers on to pull the guy over.

I started grinning and if the cop had made eye contact with me again I would have blown him a kiss. I couldn’t help but laugh - it's pretty clear to me this morning that being angry, bitter, and thinking everyone's a *&^%$@# idiot is not the path the universe wants me to take.